Have you heard about the Enneagram and wonder what it is all about? Christa Hardin joins Dr. John and Dr. Morgan to clearly explain this tool that has helped so many individuals and couples. For years, she has provided enneagram coaching and resources specifically for couples in marriage (https://www.enneagraminyourmarriage.com).
If you’ve ever wondered how someone discovers their Enneagram type, you’ll love how Christa breaks down the key questions to ask to discover yours and helps John figure out his Enneagram type during the episode.
Some of the main takeaways include:
1.What is the Enneagram?
The Enneagram is a system of nine specific types of personality. Discovering your specific personality type is done by exploring your core emotional motivations and fears. Your personality type shapes how you view yourself, your relationships, and ultimately, your life circumstances.
The nine types are visualized in a circular diagram with each type represented evenly around the circle. This visual also provides two additional sources of information about your type. The types on either side or considered your “wings” and they too can depict aspects of your personality, especially when you are experiencing strong emotions or stress. There are also lines that go from each type through the circle to other types, representing the relationships between types. This provides insights into the strengths and weaknesses when two types are joined together in some type of relationship.
The nine types are divided among three categories: Heart Types, Head Types, and Body Types.
Heart types tend to use their emotional intelligence to understand their own reactions and connect with others.
Head types tend to use their intellectual intelligence to make sense of things and navigate the world around them.
Body types tend to use their instinctual intelligence to follow their “gut” to respond to threats and opportunities.
2.Every couple has their “glow”
Christa explains how the pairing of types creates a glow:
When you enter a serious relationship, people may tell you, “You know, you’ve changed since you started dating…” right? And we do change both by habit as well as intention sometimes, since we generally pick people we like!
When your personality type and your spouse’s personality types begin to rub off or bleed into one another, there is also a new hue or unique shading to you both. Sometimes you’re different but you influence each other and at other times, you truly change one another, both for better and for worse.
This combining of traits is a sort of relationship overlay and what I like to call your Enneagram Glow, the ways we influence the world uniquely as a couple.
3.Watch and learn
There is no better way to learn about the Enneagram then to watch a seasoned coach like Christa provide a demonstration as she walks Dr. John through a series of questions to pinpoint his type.
Although there are online tests to discover your type, a live interview works best. This is because an Enneagram expert engages you in a dynamic exploration of your core drives and fears associated with each specific type, and through a process of identification and elimination, you are able to narrow down your Enneagram type.
Once you understand your type, you will be able to better understand and work with your own strengths, motivations, and coping styles.
About Christa Hardin
Christa Hardin, MA grew up in the Detroit suburbs. passionate about relationships and families from a very young age. As a college student, she majored in both Communications and Psychology, publishing a research paper with her Communications professor about shifting family system dynamics and working full time as a community director at a local apartment community. She then married her high school sweetheart, Wes, and the two of them went on for MA degrees at Wheaton College in Chicagoland. Wes got an MA in Theology and Christa got one in Clinical Psychology, finding her first official Marriage and Family Therapy internship at the Evangelical Child and Family Agency (ECFA) in Wheaton, IL where she worked with couples, families, individuals, and children in play therapy.
What else is there?
To learn more, and hear about what may be necessary to maintain a relationship with someone you “agree to disagree” with make sure to listen to the full episode.
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